Home...Here We Come!

With this past school year ending I am embarking on the renewed journey of home teaching our girls. They've been in the public school system for 3 years and we have all learned a a lot through the experience. I suppose teaching our kids is something that's in my blood. Rick and I made the "home school" decision within the first few years of becoming parents 20 plus years ago after hearing a program on Focus On the Family hosted by James Dobson. Shortly after that, I had an experience that made me want to find out even more. I remember carrying Isaac as an infant out of the sanctuary at church and his burp cloth fell off my shoulder onto the floor. A young boy of about 10 was walking beside me through the crowd and immediately stopped to retrieve it and very politely handed it back to me. I was instantly impressed and wanted to know more about who he was and how he was being raised. That's how I met Joe and Sharon Bacos and their wonderful "home grown" boys. Rick and I began spending time with their family and enjoying the closeness they shared. Their boys were the most polite, respectful young gentlemen I had ever met and they had a love for learning that I hadn't seen. I was hooked and she most graciously set me up through those first years with many books and materials that I would need to get started. Now, these years later I'm wondering how I can find her and tell her what an inspiration they have been to me.

Even though I was unable to home teach Tyler, I enjoyed the experience with Isaac and was blessed to see him learn and grow in his interests and "graduate" him in 2010. The girls...well, 3 years ago, they went to school. It was a tough prayerful decision, but best for the time I suppose. We have all grown through the experience and I had a refreshing one year off not teaching anyone full time. Now, I'm chomping at the bit to get back to it! So...hang on for the ride, cause,here we go!

Stubborn Defiance or Sweet Delight

Raising children presents so many opportunities to see how God our Father must feel toward us. Yes, I know He is perfect in all He does and His love far exceeds our capabilities to love others unconditionally, but what a picture He has provided for us in parenting our kids. The last few days, one of our girlies has been trying to push the limits of simple obedience ( I know what you are thinking...they look so sweet and innocent, right?) and I began to think of how when God rightly asks us to do something and outright we refuse or decide we will do it when it suits us, how He must be so patient, yet wonder why it is so difficult for us to just obey with a "sweet spirit". That's one of our parenting phrases here in the Denen house: "You are required to obey and it must be with a sweet spirit or it's not obedience." They always have the choice to disobey, but it will come with a consequence. It will not be ignored, lest the authority of our word becomes null and void. Obedience brings blessing. Disobedience blocks the blessing for a time. You choose. We know that as parents, that when we are asking or telling a child to do something, we have good motives because we love them and we know those things are good for them.We would not ask them to do anything that will harm them. Our motives come from wanting them to have a clean heart, teaching them to love and care about others, or simply to do something because it is healthy for their body. We desire and "pray that all may go well with them and that they may be in good health, as it goes well with their soul" 3 John 1:2  When one of them looks at me with defiance in their face, refusing to do what is asked, my heart cries out for them that they would come to understand how much I love them and want the best for them. Even with the knowledge that consequences will come, they still choose to disobey and get an attitude. Knowing how that breaks my heart, I can understand a glimpse of how much my Father just wants me to obey him. 


Without an attitude. 


Without excuse. 


With a sweet spirit.


How hard is that? Must be hard, since we all struggle with it from time to time. We want to do it our way. Sometimes, we choose to be stubborn and stiffnecked. Other times, maybe we just don't trust God that He knows what He's doing. Do we think He is just being mean? Oh, how he loves us. He has such good things in store for us; and He only asks us to obey, 


with a sweet spirit, 


without excuse, 


and with a great attitude.


Oh, that we will all pray: Lord, rid me of my stubborn defiance and let me experience sweet delight in following you.

Tuggings and Pullings

Lately, I've been trying to figure out who I am, what it is exactly that I am supposed to be doing at this point in my life.  In the past I had always based my identity on who others had said I was or what I was supposed to be doing, but now.....well, that didn't turn out so great. I gotta start new.

What are my dreams, desires, and goals? Better yet, what dreams, desires and goals does my Abba Father have for me? Many things are stirring in me. Some are new. Some make me nervous. Some cause excitement and anticipation again where it has been lacking. Some I have done before and I feel the pull to "go there" again.  All these tuggings and pullings are gentle yet, unrelenting. I do have to remind myself to take it "one day at a time". I have to remind myself that if God asks something of me, He will equip me. Jeremiah 29:11 is still one of my favorite verses to stand on. "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans for hope and a future." So, I can rest when I know that God asks something of me, that He will be with me. I won't have to go it alone. I don't have to have all the answers. I don't have to have ANY answers. I just have to follow closely to where He leads me. It's time for a new start.


What about you? Has God asked you to do anything lately? Any tuggings going on in you? 

Boundaries - Values & Limits

Some days it's more difficult to get our thoughts into focus. Today is one of those days for me The girlies were home 2 days this week due to the blizzard that hit, and hubby also off one of them, so my "norm" has been a bit off...:)

Since I'm not sure what to start with, I'll let the Bible get us going.  John 12:43 says "For they loved the approval and the praise and the glory that come from men instead of and more than the glory that come from God.  They value their credit with men more than their credit with God." 

Sometimes we feel like, or we KNOW that our life is out of balance or just plain messed up in areas. Other times, the realization sneaks up on us and then jumps in front of us and gives us a surprise and a jolt. So many times we discover that we have arrived in this place in our lives as a result of misplaced values or have been seeking approval from those around us instead of the God who truly loves us. I for one, have had to ask God to show me how much He loves me and then begin believing Him with all that is within me. When we finally grasp the amazingness of having the love and approval of our Creator, we have put ourselves on the path to be set free.

When we mistakenly try to get our identity from people around us instead of God, we will many times be disappointed and disillusioned in who we are. Our view of ourselves can become distorted...tainted...harmed.  We must choose carefully who we allow to speak into our lives. Who we allow to "control" how we feel about ourselves by their words, actions or opinions. Many times those around us have a distorted view of themselves and or God.  They are acting inappropriately or just making bad choices. By their standards, we just don't measure up.  I have been learning that I cannot set limits on others and make them act differently, but I can confront and set standards for those I allow close access into my life when they are unrepentant and not taking responsibility for their actions. Years, ago, a popular saying was printed on anything you can imagine...."What Would Jesus Do?" WWJD  Easier said than done...on our own, that is. What does Jesus say about confronting and setting limits? Matthew 18:15-17 and 1 Corinthians 5: 9-13 tell us. Take the time to check it out for yourself. Henry Cloud in the book Boundaries writes  this: "But God limits His exposure to evil, unrepentant people, as should we. Scripture is full of admonitions to separate ourselves from people who act in destructive ways. We are not being unloving. Separating ourselves protects love, because we are taking a stand against things that destroy love."

God is love and GOD LOVES YOU! Get it....believe it....be loved.

Boundaries - Attitudes, Beliefs, Behaviors and Choices

Wow, so how quickly we can "cop an attitude", and so early in the morning at that! Having 3 girls in the house, ages 9-12 on top of me, myself and I, we can have an abundance of bad "tudes" to deal with! Hubby waking up at 5 AM to find 2 little girls already up and one looking for breakfast; someone putting an item where it doesn't belong so it can't be found when needed; the sister sitting next to you eating breakfast with too many "noises"; sharing a bathroom; not getting enough "me" time before everyone else wakes up; a child talking to me while I'm trying to read something in my Bible; eating pancakes with the only syrup that's left and it has Splenda in it and leaves a gross aftertaste you can't get rid of; cracker crumbs on the rug from the night before; the child who ALWAYS takes forever to do ANYTHING; hubby (and then wifey) searching drawers, fridge and cupboards frustrated cause he can't find his milk container to take with his breakfast ( it's still in the fridge at the office...oops); the coffee in my cup is lukewarm; and WHY are there so many dirty cups and bowls on the counter from just last night? Oh, and Joyce Meyer is on TV telling me that I should be living a victorious life. And that's all before 7:45 AM, so good morning to you all and have a blessed day...:D

Now really...although no harsh words were spoken this morning (and no one got hurt), that little feeling of irritation was creeping in threatening to ruin our day if we chose to give in. We can have attitudes (good and bad) based on what we have come to believe to be the "right way" of doing things. When others don't measure up, watch out. WE must all own our own attitudes. WE are the only one responsible for them. They fall within our property lines - our boundaries. We have attitudes and beliefs left over from how we were raised in our family of origin, or how we ourselves have simply gotten used to doing things when we should be renewing our minds to God's way of doing things and putting on God's character and habits.  Jesus referred to this in Mark 7:9 when He said, "You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition (your own human regulations)." and Matthew 15:3 "He replied to them, And also do you transgress and violate the commandment of God for the sake of the rules handed down to you by your forefathers?" During the course of the day, these little things may not be that big of a deal, but if we don't learn how to set limits and take responsibility in the little things, eventually bigger situations and our relationships with people in life will be affected. We have to learn a new way of doing things. God's way.


Proverbs continually tells us that setting limits and taking responsibility will save lives. Proverbs 13:18 "Poverty and shame come to him who refuses instruction and correction, but he who heeds reproof is honored." vs. 24 says "He who spares his rod (of discipline) hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early." Thankfully, it's never to late to learn.

Our behaviors and choices are our responsibility and come with consequences. Some small, some big, some very damaging that eventually affect our lives in ways we would never choose.

Galations 5:23 tells us of the fruit of the spirit that should be working in our lives through Jesus in us. That fruit is LOVE and that love is displayed with joy (gladness) , peace, patience (an even temper), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (humility) and self-control (self-restraint).

Galations 6: 7-8 tells us that "we will reap what we sow", but when boundaries are confused and not set properly and firmly, too many times, we allow ourselves to reap the consequences (pain or hurt) of what someone else has sown by their actions and words. One person is irresponsible and happy and the other is responsible and unhappy. If you really love someone, you will  let them feel consequences so that they can hopefully learn a better way. When we don't, it can end up with us being resentful and our relationships become and stay unhealthy. When we do set limits with others and take responsibility for ourselves we will be so much happier and live that victorious, abundant, blessed life that God promised us.

If we are really brave, we will take time to get quiet before God, and read all of Galations Chapter 6 and let Him show us what needs to be done differently in our lives and in the way we relate to those around us.

Oh, and by the way.....I can STILL taste the Splenda and the coffee in my cup is COLD.....;)

Boundaries - Our Feelings

First, let me say Isaac and Trevor did a fantastic "show" last night.  I was so excited to be there with them! They had 15 minutes and did 4 songs which were all received well! A bit disappointed though that after we left to go eat with our friends, the owner asked them to play more and they gave another hours performance. Oh, well, I will catch them again next time!




For The Rabbits

Bean's Books &Beliefs Coffee Shop
Open Mic night








                                   So...back to boundaries:
Yesterday I wrote about the different things we are responsible for.  One of which is our feelings. God tells us in so many places that we can choose how we feel and respond to life and those around us.

Philippians 4:6-7 " DO NOT fret or have anxiety about anything...."
Psalm 42:5 "Why are you downcast oh my soul...hope in the Lord..."
Psalm 37:1 "Fret not yourself...."
Psalm 9:2 "I will rejoice in You and be in high spirits....."
Proverbs 16:9 "A man's mind plans his way..."
Proverbs 4:23 Be careful what you think because your thoughts run your life."

We can't ignore our feelings, but we can't let them be in charge either.  We are told to capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5)

"Feelings come from your heart and can tell you the state of your relationships. They can tell you if things are going well or there's a problem. If you feel close and loving things are probably going well.  If you feel angry, you have a problem that needs to be addressed. But the point is, your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to." (Excerpt from Boundaries by Cloud/Townsend)

If we allow someone to get us angry or sad, it is because we have allowed them to have "power" over us and we are in bondage to them. We need to deal with WHY we are allowing them to affect us in that way, instead of only relying on Jesus to give us our approval. So that also means that we don't allow others to hold us responsible for how THEY feel and once we get a hold of that concept, it is very freeing indeed! Does this give us the right to treat people however we choose? Oh course not! But, if we continue to harm them, they may set up boundaries to protect themselves from us and likewise we have the responsibility to put boundaries around our lives to protect ourselves from harm. Will setting boundaries in our relationships HURT someone"s feelings?  Perhaps, and most likely, yes, but it won't HARM them. And therein lies the  difference.

Boundaries - When Compassion Becomes Guilt

So, exciting news for today! Isaac and his friend Trevor will be playing at their first "Open Mic" at a local cook store/coffee shop tonight! Got a sitter arranged for the girlies and Rick and I get to have a date! We'll be meeting some there with some of our friends too! They have their first EP out with 3 songs on it too.

They are currently in the top 3 of unnassigned Folk musicians.....:)
www.purevolume.com/FortheRabbits

So, I'll share a little more on this boundary thing today. You know in the story of the Good Samaritan how basically the guy helps the guy that's been beaten and robbed and takes him to an inn and pays for him to stay there a few days to heal up, right? He says he has business to take care of but when he comes back he will take care of any other expenses - and then he goes on his way. End of story. Well, let's change it up a bit....what if the injured guy gets upset because the business man is leaving? Tells him he's being selfish, uncaring, unChristian-like, not acting like Jesus, and is supposed to deny himself to help others. The business man thinks maybe he is being uncaring so he postpones his trip for a few days to stay with the injured guy making sure he is happy and content. Business guy gets a message in a couple days from his business contacts that says they gave the business to someone else cause they waited as long as they could. Now, the business man is mad and resentful at the injured man because he lost a deal.

Sometimes we are moved by compassion to help someone, but then we are manipulated to give more than we want to give but we do it anyway and end up resentful and angry. Or maybe it's us who wants more from someone than they are willing to give and we want to pressure them so they will give in to us. This again, is where boundaries come in. What exactly are WE responsible for?

2 Corinthians 9:7 Let each on give as he has made up his own mind 

and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully 

or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver, 

whose heart is in his giving."

Philemon 1:14 (Paul said) But is has been my wish to do nothing about it without first consulting you and getting your consent,in order that your benevolence might not seem to be the result of compulsion or of pressure, 

but might be voluntary on your part.

John 12:43 (Jesus said) For they loved the approval and the praise and the glory that came from men instead of the glory that comes from God. 

They valued their credit with men more than their credit with God.

Today, I'll give you a list of what falls in our boundaries and later will add more details.

Our Feelings, Attitudes and Beliefs,

Behaviors, Choices, Values, Limits,

Talents, Thoughts, Desires, and Love.